I want to be pretty (you don't know how much)

Up there, we were told of your presence,

       They say

You could do anything

      Anything

I couldn't believe it

You were too        absent

Too opaque

Or too blur      for my eyes

I will my heart to find you

Or at least feel you

So if you are there

Make me pretty

Make me pretty

Lovely eyes

Pretty lips

Anorexic weight

Pale skin

Slender physique

Honey voice

Oh, oh, oh

How you could give me

Please give me the power,

I need your        strength

Combined        with mine

Together

   We could

     Construct

       My new

exquisiteness

:/

It's been so bad lately and I'm in a shit mood all the time. I can't believe how serious my angst has become. It's like all kinds of crap has crashed down like fucking hallelujah, idk what else to do but listen to MM and reason not to slit my skin off. Somehow that works, but then again I just want all this to go away.

I don't even wanna talk about this, tbh.

One more thing, why the fuck do people have to cry in public? And why are they always pointing at me? I hurt no one. I fucking hate crying people, never know how to treat them. Should I tell them to be strong and stop pissing around? Or say sorry (not my fault btw) and cheer them up?

What the fuck do people want?

I don't understand

What's so important about love? I'm fourteen, and I'm not in desperate search of it. You're fourteen too, why are you in such a hurry? Does it make you feel so lonely, you have to shove yourself into all this sweetness about love, and what it does to you?

You're single, you're pretty. So cherish it. We're not friends, but I used to be your best. I know you better than that.

You're beautiful, in your way maybe. Don't corrupt yourself, love will come. You're starting to look desperate and disgusting to guys.

I know, I have asked men about you.